Title: Right Wrong
Each time he made a decision, it always seemed like he made the wrong one.
Tim isn’t going to lie.
No matter how certain he thinks he is of his choices, he’s also equally certain that ultimately said choices will somehow come back to haunt him.
It starts with Robin, it ends with Robin.
Somewhere in between is Superboy, Kid Flash, Cassie, Stephanie, Dad, Bruce, Gotham, and a bunch of other things he can’t remember to list.
Ultimately everything comes back to haunt him.
Each time he has a made a decision, it always seemed like he made the wrong one.
No matter how right it looked at first.
So when Jason holds his hand out to Tim-
Tim thinks of all the pros and cons. He has at least three (he’s Robin number three, heh) different futures planned out right then and there.
"You can trust me."
Yes. This is true.
But Tim can’t trust himself.
He destroys everything he touches. If not immediately, then give it time. Given enough of that precious currency, it will inevitably cave in on itself, forever beyond repair.
So when Jason holds his hand to Tim, Tim wants nothing more than to take it.
He wants to take it and whatever Jason feels fit to offer him.
He wants it all. He wants it-
Like he wanted Robin, like he wanted friends and Young Justice, like he wanted the Teen Titans, like he wanted Spoiler, like he wanted his Dad, like he wanted Bruce.
And Tim feels torn.
This is wrong, it’s the wrong choice. He can’t choose Jason. He’ll destroy him. Ruin him. Make him suffer. He knows. He’s seen it happen. He ruins people. And Jason doesn’t deserve that, he doesn’t deserve Tim.
But what if it’s right?
What if this is different? What if this doesn’t turn out wrong? What if this is ok because maybe, just maybe, it is the wrong choice and if the wrong goes wrong then does that make it go right?
Does this make sense?
Feelings never do.
Tim sometimes wishes he could throw them away, wash his hands, and be done. But he can’t.
Feelings are useful, necessary- they have their purposes.
Tim looks into Jason’s eyes and tries not to think of them as closed or dead or rotting. He tries not to think of hatred and anger and sorrow and being broken.
He takes Jason’s hand, he takes everything Jason will give him, promise him.
He takes it all and he hopes that isn’t why this is right, wrong, whichever.
He hopes that for once, this is the wrong choice that will somehow turn out right.
(He can’t take another one.)